What's this!?! Actual climbing?

Thanks to everyone who went out to Joe's last week and made it an awesome trip. I had so much fun climbing on new rock, practicing my left-handed throws, and roughing it at the Village Inn. Can't wait to go back and unleash the Small One. Watch out Utards.

The elusive Mama Bear in her natural element... cranking.

Wholesome Fuel

NOTE FROM CARL:

This may be a regional anomaly, but last
Monday I bought a gallon of milk for $3.29,
then ten minutes later filled my gas tank
for — you guessed it — $3.29 a gallon.
Where’s Rod Serling?

The Top 10 Effects of Gas
and Milk Costing the Same

10> When you read this list you shoot hi-test premium out of your nose.

9> OK, let’s see you make your damn holey cheese from curdled motor fuel! Can’t do it, can you? HA! Bastards. I hate Switzerland.

8> STP Octane Boost and Nestle’s Quik essentially become the same thing.

7> Dairy farmers are looking into converting their cows to diesel in order to score that extra buck a gallon.

6> When you siphon gas from co-workers’ tanks during your break, you now use a rubber nipple.

5> Udder-equipped tanker trucks.

4> Dramatic increase in drive-off milkings.

3> More and more parents trading in their milk-guzzler kids for more beverage-efficient models.

2> Dairy farmers band together to form OMEC and build themselves extravagant palaces.

and the Number 1 Effect of Gas and Milk Costing the Same …

1> Hours of mirth watching dumb guys try to get that nipple to reach the gas tank opening.

The Sandwich

Sandwiches are a depressing food. I think you will agree with me when I say that the best part of a well made sandwich is directly in the middle, equidistant from all crusts. You should also agree with me when I say the crusts are routinely the worst part of the sandwich. Unfortunately, the crust is always the last part ingested, therefore the last memory of the meal. If it weren't for the supreme portability of the sandwich I feel they would be shunned by the general population.

So let us come together to declare an ultimatum to our 'friends' the sandwich companies: Make your crusts tastier or we will stop 'enjoying' your product.

All we need is a never-ending supply of glitter!

Remedy for a bruised L7

1. Lie down on back, bring knees to chest.
2. Apply large Osteoquack onto knees.
3. Have Osteoquack perform reacharound in order to firmly grasp buttocks.
4. Try to fight Osteoquack off with knees.
5. Remember to breathe.

Where's Shibby?