Wholesome Fuel

NOTE FROM CARL:

This may be a regional anomaly, but last
Monday I bought a gallon of milk for $3.29,
then ten minutes later filled my gas tank
for — you guessed it — $3.29 a gallon.
Where’s Rod Serling?

The Top 10 Effects of Gas
and Milk Costing the Same

10> When you read this list you shoot hi-test premium out of your nose.

9> OK, let’s see you make your damn holey cheese from curdled motor fuel! Can’t do it, can you? HA! Bastards. I hate Switzerland.

8> STP Octane Boost and Nestle’s Quik essentially become the same thing.

7> Dairy farmers are looking into converting their cows to diesel in order to score that extra buck a gallon.

6> When you siphon gas from co-workers’ tanks during your break, you now use a rubber nipple.

5> Udder-equipped tanker trucks.

4> Dramatic increase in drive-off milkings.

3> More and more parents trading in their milk-guzzler kids for more beverage-efficient models.

2> Dairy farmers band together to form OMEC and build themselves extravagant palaces.

and the Number 1 Effect of Gas and Milk Costing the Same …

1> Hours of mirth watching dumb guys try to get that nipple to reach the gas tank opening.